Wednesday, January 10, 2007

In all fairness

Today had all the makings of a very bad day. I had to re-set my alarm three times because I just couldn't muster up the enthusiasm to face the cold. In the end, I opted to not bath, and crawled from electric blanket to kerosene heater to school. But my fears were unsupported: Today turned out to be a pretty kickass day.

Here are two highlights:

1) I bought some durian candy in Kuala Lumpur. Now, for those unfamiliar with the natural charms of Durian, it is said to smell like a good dose of vagina, and any respectable train, bus or hotel in Southern SE Asia will have a sign like this one:



Yah. It stinks.


So, rubbing my sweaty palms together in grinning glee, I bought three packs of durian candy and lugged it around for 2 weeks, all for the simple pleasure of seeing my school kids vomit in class.


I was not disappointed.


When I cracked open the bag in the san-nensei class, they ran to open the windows. Half of them dared to eat it, and started gag-reflexes while desperately clawing the air. My team-teaching partner wanted to fold over laughing, but he was too busy trying to get his vision back after taking his first bite of chewy durian. It was like the atom bomb had been dropped again. Only this time it smelled like gasoline (they said) and tasted like green onions. And they call it a fruit.


PS - my team-teacher refrained from eating any more candy during the next 2 classes, and said he wished he had a camera with which to capture the other classes' obvious pain when they too were introduced to Durian.



2) I was trying to explain "New Years Resolutions" to 2 other teachers, failing horribly because I could not remember the English ("voornemens".. what the hell.. English.. uhh..). Trying to corss-reference from a Japanese word that they gave me (houfu), I flipped through my pocket dictionary and


there I spotted my memory card


The memory card that I thought I had crumpled up and threwn into Koh Tao's garbage


The memory card from the dead camera that I fed to the sea on New Years


The memory card that contains all my memory reminders up to 23h39 on the 31st of December 2006.


My trip to Thailand/Malaysia/Singapore has been resurrected. Brilliant.


(photos might possibly follow)

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

you made my night. i wish to god i'd brought Durian back, just to see something like that. sannensei agony: 8th wonder of the world?

oi, can you send the muay thai/ us-doing-stuff-together photos my way?

xo

she-who-wears-skirts-over-jeans

Anonymous said...

sounds gross...