Just For A Moment...

Imagine for a second that you decide to move to a small town. You move there on your own. You don't know anyone in this town. You move there for work reasons, and the first people you meet are those that share a workspace with you. You live on your own. You choose to not own a tv. You are alone. You attempt to meet people. You join the library, the aerobics class, you go to a church gathering or two, you go to primary school concerts, you hang out at the temple, every now and again you go drinking with your colleauges. The people you see at work become the people you see after work. They're not your type of people. You grow to love them though, the same way you grow to love the town that houses you. But there's no connection. There's a fondness, but no enthusiasm. Their belief systems is a definite mismatch to yours. They've never heard about the Illuminati, Graham Hancock or the Dave Matthews Band. You talk less and listen more, because talking would mean disagreeing. You sit politely and listen to their gossip, their racism, their fear of change, their indoctrinated ways. You learn a lot, but you have no idea what to do with that knowledge. Then you begin to formulate an escape plan, but putting it into action takes time. You spend night after night in your own exclusive company. You use the time to read, to watch dvds, learn survival methods, do yoga, contemplate life, follow the cycles of the moon and catch up on lost sleep. After a year, you get bored. You've seen every interesting dvd, you've lost interest in reading and the clouds obscure the moon.You've grown bored with yoga, bored with self-investigation, bored with cellphone text conversations, bored with yourself. You lighten the load of empty hours with selective intoxication, but you soon grow bored with that as well. You forget how you used to stay entertained. You rebel against yourself for some new ideas. You lose yourself in yourself. You watch helplessly as aloneness slowly turns into loneliness. You suspect that you're losing your social skills. You crave human interaction, human touch. You fear self-pity, for there's nothing more disgusting. You doubt. You frown more than before. You wish you could cry, but you've forgotten how to. You know yourself better than ever before, yet you don't recognise yourself anymore. You type silly blogs in the third person. You grow bored with boredom. You grow impatient with impatience. Then you realise that this too will pass, and you raise your head towards the light. You open the curtains because the night wind is carrying rain. You sit outside and breathe in wet soil and electricity. And you remember that it's always most silent before the storm.