The Only Thing You Have To Fear

When we got our first colour screen computer, and we were really gettin’ hip with the technology scene, we got a complimentary copy of Encarta 90-something with it. My brothers and I spent many an educating afternoon nailed to our seats in front of the monitor, looking at pictures of exotic animals, listening to snippets from other countries’ anthems or to the calls of wild moose in Canada; it was better than television. Then we discovered the Quotes section – from long ramblings in high English to beautiful, rhythmic passages that left me hypnotised.

Then I happened across a quote by Franklin D. Roseveldt. It was read slowly, puncturing holes in my memory with a deep, dark voice. The only thing.. we have to fear.. is fear itself. We loved it. Play it again, Sam! Again, again! The only thing.. we have to fear.. is fear itself. We sat at the breakfast table, bubbling the quote into our cereal bowls' leftover milk. We used it as bullying justification (when you’re pinned to the floor and you KNOW you’re gonna get a glob of spit on the forehead, all of a sudden you don’t give a shit about fear itself). We drove ourselves crazy saying that sentence over and over, mostly in distorted pulled-tape-deck voices. Theeee ohhwnleeee thunggg we haaaave to feeeeuuhr.. is feeehhur itseeehhlf...

It must have stuck somewhere, because of all that repeating. Unintentional self-drilling. I’ve been thinking about that recently, because I have been noticing fear all around me. Now that the moon is waning, it seems that the dark side is growing in the hearts of those around me. Fear lurks around every corner, in varying forms and functions. There’s the fear of new things, the fear of heights, the fear of driving because it’s not your car, the fear of breaking up with someone, the fear of falling in love, the fear of seeming foolish, the fear of the future, the fear of the past, the fear of not knowing, the fear of knowing too much.. Every situation can be a double-edged sword, laced with bitter fear. Mostly, I see the fear of the unknown in peoples’ eyes, reflected as they look past you. The fear of fear.

I’ve never claimed to be fearless. A lot of my recent decisions have left me shit-scared. But I invite fear, I find it to be an amazingly strong fuel. Fear gives me wings.