M is for...

On Sunday I seeked some relief from a migraine that felt like a rusty sneak knife lodged in my left brain lobe. The rumble of city traffic made me cringe, and I was certain that my left eye was protruding from its throbbing socket. All pharmacies were closed, so I opted for some alternative healing. With some convincing from my friend, I stopped at a herbal homeopathic pseudo pharmacy, requesting a quick fix. Teehee, it was like visiting a mainstream sangoma - all these jars with powders at the back, most of them a sickly green. After consulting his textbook (not very encouraging), he made me a mixture of cayenne pepper, catnip, eye of newt and some bat wings, "The problem is that there is not enough oxygen flowing to your brain, the cayenne pepper will improve your circulation". While he was searching for M is for Migraine, I felt like screaming No you moron, it's because I slept my neck into an advanced yoga position, jus' gimme some muscle relaxants! (Alternatively, it's the first symptoms of Malaria)

I payed for my powder, got some iced green tea with plum juice, and headed to the Smoothie shop with Wessel to get something to wash it down with (didn't think of the iced tea hey?). It was fucking horrible. It clogged up my esophagus. I choked. I burned. I couldn't get my smoothie to go up the straw. I coughed. My eyes watered. I couldn't speak. It formed a paste on my palate. I couldn't get it down. What a scene, right by the smoothie shop. Wessel was laughing up a storm. I would have found it very funny as well, except for the fact that I was having a near-death experience. Finally I managed to swallow half of my strawberry smoothie with the paste in my mouth, causing the confusion of a mouth on fire and intense brainfreeze combined.

Screw that. Next time I'm taking what works; 70mg orphenadrine citrate + 900 mg paracetamol. Mental note to take 5 boxes of Norflex to J-pan, though I think that paracetamol is illegal there.